Scared Selfless: My Journey from Abuse and Madness to Surviving and Thriving
Michelle Stevens has a photo of the exact moment her childhood was stolen from her: She’s only eight years old, posing for her mother’s boyfriend, Gary Lundquist—an elementary school teacher, neighborhood stalwart, and brutal pedophile. Later that night, Gary locks Michelle in a cage, tortures her repeatedly, and uses her to quench his voracious and deviant sexual whims. Little does she know that this will become her new reality for the next six years.
Michelle can also pinpoint the moment she reconstituted the splintered pieces of her life: She’s in cap and gown, receiving her PhD in psychology—and the university’s award for best dissertation.
The distance between these two points is the improbable journey from torture, loss, and mental illness to healing, recovery, and triumph that is Michelle’s powerful memoir, Scared Selfless.
Michelle suffered from post‐traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression, and made multiple suicide attempts. She also developed multiple personalities. There was “Chelsey,” the rebellious teenager; “Viscous,” a tween with homicidal rage; and “Sarah,” a sweet little girl who brought her teddy bear on a first date.
In this harrowing tale, Michelle, who was inspired to help others heal by becoming a psychotherapist, sheds light on the all-too-real threat of child sexual abuse, its subsequent psychological effects, and the best methods for victims to overcome their ordeals and, ultimately, thrive. Scared Selfless is both an examination of the extraordinary feats of the mind that are possible in the face of horrific trauma as well as Michelle’s courageous testament to their power.
Reviews (172)
Inspiring and Fascinating Journey: A Road Map for Rebuilding One's Life and Overcoming Trauma
By the time Michelle Stevens was 13, she had been her mother’s boyfriend’s sex slave for 5 years. The memories of him remained a destructive force in her life, tugging at the frayed strings of her mental stability and will to live. She had PTSD, tried to kill herself with pills twice and developed multiple personalities. AND YET (I'm putting this in caps because it's such an exceptional accomplishment) THIS IS A TRULY INSPIRING, AT TIMES HILARIOUS, AND ALWAYS INSIGHTFUL MEMOIR! It took about 15 years, 3 hospitalizations, and multiple suicide attempts to work through Gary’s dark legacy. En route to healing herself, she grew fascinated in how the mind absorbs and deals with trauma, and her fascination to study it further and further until she eventually earns a PhD with a thesis that tells her own story as a case study! Emboldened and empowered by her remarkable journey to healing, she was inspired to help others heal through her private practice as a clinical psychotherapist who specializes in trauma. Now, with SCARED SELFLESS, she hopes to help millions by telling her story in full for the first time—and, by consequence, freeing others from the mental vise in which their tormentors have held them for years. Yes, at first it's raw, but mostly it's fascinating and completely engaging.
Astounding story, astounding woman.
In a first for me, I could.not.put.this.book.down until i reached the last page. I read memoirs, autobiographies, true crime - never has any account changed my mind as completely as this story. To this day I still don't understand grown women who proclaim to "love" their abusers. Those who allow their children to be abused are despicable, like the author's mother, who had no reason to fear for her own safety. Prior to reading this book, I also could not understand why children don't "tell." The author has done a wonderful job in explaining why, in a way that no one has done before. I get it now. On behalf of his victims I do feel cheated that the evil called Gary Lundquist never suffered a single day of the pain, humiliation and trauma he inflicted. One can only hope there really is a hell for him and his ilk. I also hope that Michelle knows there are many thousands of us who are proud of her and wish continued happiness and success in her future. Final!y, thank you, Michelle, for opening my eyes.
but went on to become a licensed psychologist in order to help others make the transition from fear to love. As a counselor with
Scared Selfless is a first person account of child abuse, sex trafficking, child pornography and how one child grew into a woman who not only worked to overcome such horrors, but went on to become a licensed psychologist in order to help others make the transition from fear to love. As a counselor with over 25 years experience working with abuse survivors, I found this book to be a beautiful mix of personal testimony and psychological treatise on the elements necessary to bring healing to such trauma. While I highly recommend this book to both professionals and any who desire a greater understanding of these themes, the reader should be aware that this book contains a great deal of painful, shocking realities which might be triggering to some.
Unsure
I bought this book after seeing Michelle on Dr. Phil. I am a Mental Health Professional and am always interested in others' lives and their personal journey's; albeit, good, bad or somewhere in between. I am also a multiple abuse survivor. I read this book with an open mind. However, I have to say that I am very skeptical as to the validity of this story for a myriad of reasons. In saying this, I hope that her story, true or not, inspires others who are or have been abused, and that they may seek the help in which they deserve. I know that, after reading this book, if Michelle were to see this review, she would lump me on the list of other Mental Health Professional's, "who don't get it", as her experience was such, that she saw multiple, Therapist's who appeared to be substandard and ineffective (my interpretation of Michelle's words). There may be some truth in this assessment as far as some Therapist's. There's bad, in every profession. However, I would hate for survivors of abuse who read this book, get the wrong impression or message about Mental Health Professional's as a whole, as this may prohibit those abused individual's from getting the help they need. I would read this book with an open mind but with a healthy skepticism. Above all else, I would seek the help of a professional if abuse has been or is a part of your life.
Wonderfully written
I almost put this book away several times because it was hard to read the detailed abuse she suffered. However, she writes so well and true and helps the reader understand SO much more than her story. I feel more educated on abuse, abusers, mental illness and a lot more. Michelle's story has inspired me to help others that experienced what she did. Although I am not a survivor of child abuse, I hope to make a difference in someone else's life that is.
I love this book. I found many answers no one could answer me.
Best book I've ever read about child abuse. Being a victim of child sexual abuse It feels like the author is saying your feelings that you don't find the words to describe. There was alot of answers I got from reading this book. I read it in 2 days. I recommend it to anyone who suffered from child abuse. It hits home. Very detailing in how the abuse happen it's not for the weak mind.
Eye Opening True Story about Child Trafficking and Healing
I highly recommend this book. I know most people don't like reading about child abuse, child trafficking but I feel it's necessary to understand and have empathy since the news outlets often downplay how common and terrible child trafficking is. It's much easier to read news about celebrities and light hearted issues vs something as terrible as child trafficking. However, I learned quite a bit about how child abuse can effect a person's entire life.
I learned so much from your book!!
It was an awesome book! I loved the fact that even though Michelle went through hell....she overcame and conquered her fears. I suffer from PTSD myself and although it is not from abuse...rather from multiple major car accidents. I learned a great deal. I am still in counseling and making great progress, although I still have my bad days as well. Injuries after injuries...plus 13 surgeries and facing another it has been gruesome at times. I taught many years myself, but started having physical signs from not acknowledging my own pain. It came out in seizures and fainting spells. I will never give up just as you didn't...I am so proud of you and all the people you are helping with DID!!! :-)
Bravery at its best!
Reading about her abuse was very hard to read and comprehend. Her bravery to persevere gives hope. She always had a fire inside to better herself even in her darkest times. I now understand more about DID. I also learned a lot about my own abuse. I didn't survive what she did, but physical abuse I did as a kid. Thank you for being so brace to write this book! I will recommend this book. One day I hope to give Michelle a huge hug! Book tour!!! Lol!!
Scared Selfless by Michelle Stevens
This is an amazing true story of Michelle Steven's years of brutal sexual abuse by a step father and her mother's failure to protect her. She endured incredible mental illness due to her abuse and years of therapy but finally she began to heal. She went to college, obtained her Ph.D. In clinical psychology and has devoted her life to helping other victims . A.A.
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